First of all, I am now in between writing my last blog post about my Italy trip with my girlfriends and having lunch. But since I can’t find the exact words to finish my travel blog yet, I feel like posting another one in between.
Here I am on my lunch break 30 minutes away until I go back to work (I have one hour). I just finished my hot pot chicken noodle soup and sandwich with butter and smoked sweet and mild cold meat (yummms!).
Its actually moments like this why I decided to have my own blog site, I want to fill up my extra times and share my experiences in life. I’m so done with just sitting around busy doing nothing 🙂 I guess its one of many signs of aging. I don’t mind getting old though, everybody gets old, so we all do. Secondly, when I went through postpartum depression (hmmmm, not as bad as many others), I started looking for something to freshen up my mind rather than wanting to hit my head hard on to the wall (don’t do it at home). Don’t get me wrong, not all women goes through hard times at the beginning of motherhood. Mine was a little different. I love my baby so dearly, but having him colic at the beginning was exhausting.
Colic is a term used for babies who cry 3 or more hours a day 3 times a week. Their face turns red and screams like they are in pain. Mind you, mine was way way worst than that. He managed to cry all day and night long with very little sleep, seven days a week. He lost his voice at some point. It was so hard to calm him down I would end up cying myself.
I had a hard time coping with all his long hours of crying and screaming in pain. I thought I have never seen a baby who cried and screamed like him. I had no idea and never heard of the term “colic” until I had one of my own. This was the time when all I did was read blogs on how to deal with colicky babies and postpartum depression. For 6 weeks (which seemed like forever) I hardly slept at all!. The longest time I might have slept was (maybe) an hour during the day and mostly only about 40 winks at a time during the night if I was lucky. My baby was just not sleeping, he was determined to cry from 8pm until the early hours the next day, and again the whole morning after a very little sleep and again in the afternoon until night time (repeats). It was indeed the most exhausting time of my life (yet precious for having my little big dream).
I was starting to be out of my mind during the time of my postpartum depression. I think I lied to everyone when I said “I was okey”, when deep inside I was not!, I was at my worst. I was too tired, my brain wasn’t functioning the right way 🙂 I was becoming suicidal, the only thing I held on to was the thought of “who will look after my baby if I’m gone” and “if I die, I might hurt my family so bad”. I knew I needed help when I started messaging my sister and my parents that I want to die already. I felt awful, postpartum depression is a no joke!. I was lucky enough that my sister gave me her 2 entire weeks at home to help me look after my baby, just when I was getting at my worst. (FYI, paternity leave of 2 weeks is never enough, why just 2 weeks?? I needed my husband’s help a lot lot more!, but he had to go back to work).
When my hubby was on paternity leave, I had someone to rely on everything, specially caring for the baby. But once he was back to work, things got a bit too hard. He operates a machine that needs enough energy and concentration to be able to function well, or else, he might get into accident. I told him to not worry about the screaming baby at night and just think of getting enough sleep and rest for his work the next day. I didn’t want to bother him at all during the night. Parenthood is indeed a hard work. Thumbs up to all parents out there! who are going through hard times, but getting on so well. I know now how it feels.
Anyways. The night my sister arrived, I went to sleep right away. That was the first time after giving birth that I was able to feel my back on the bed, relaxed and breathing. She watched and dealt with the baby’s screaming all night. Every time I wake up in the middle of the night, I’d see her holding the baby, feeding and trying to calm him down. I would only fall back to sleep without even knowing, I was too tired and needing many winks so bad. She would sleep during the day and up all night, me, the other way round. Hubby takes his turn once he gets home from work.
When my sister was with me the whole time, all we did was search for blogs/ideas on how to deal with colicky babies. It was her most of the time who finds the best ideas, I just follow. I was still getting my energy back from all the stitching and pain I had after giving birth (normal delivery). It was indeed a lot of struggle, sad/happy and unforgettable memories.
To make the story short, my postpartum depression is now a “thing of the past!”. My baby stopped being colicky at 6 weeks, at 7/8 weeks I heard his “full” voice for the first time!. It made me so happy and my heart jumped of so much joy hearing his “real” voice for the first time. He finally screamed the loudest and got his voice back after getting enough sleep and rest. He suddenly turned into a happy baby. My parents came over to help me as well, all the way from Philippines. The support from my family helped me get through everything. If you know someone going through the same, please don’t ignore! give as much help as you can, it does makes a big difference. Don’t wait until its too late.
Since I have mentioned how we dealt with my colicky baby, here are some pointers of what we have done to help him. Most of these ideas we got online.
So far this are all the things that I remember I have done to calm my baby down, try it and it might help your baby as well.
Now at nine months old, my baby is literally a happy bouncing, climbing, hyper baby boy, who tries to escape in every opportunity. He is too far from his colicky and screaming days. He still gets tantrums of course, as per all babies do. He likes to watch nursery songs on youtube (on big tv in the morning), and loves books, just like his daddy. He looks kind of a “cool” baby now, who started walking at his age. He gives us so much joy and happiness, We just love him so much!.
If you are going through postpartum depression right now, please seek help professionally or from family. If you get ignored by someone you thought could help you most, try someone you never think would help you, it might surprise you. And if you are somebody who knows someone going through postpartum depression, please do help in any way possible. Its not too hard to give a helping hand.
So there you go! I actually finished my blog at home while the baba is dozing of!. I have to take a zzzzzzzzzz as well!. Until my next blog people!.
Sending you all good vibes and good day/night!